Sappy Stories From Arkansas And Alzheimer’s Question

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16 Comments

1. Thank you for the comment Ann. My heart goes out to you. Alzheimer’s is hard on everyone involved. I’ve been to Crossett.

2. Thank you for sharing your mother’s Alzheimer’s story. My mom had dementia for about 15 years before she passed away from congestive heart disease; she was 96. As with your mom, she became very choosy about her diet, reverting back, it seemed, to the way children are specific about what they don’t want to eat. I was born in Crossett, Arkansas and have visited there throughout my life to visit family.

3. Hi Leigh, I don’t have dates on my posts. I wrote this post in November of 2018. Such a sweet story about your dog and the nursing home residents. I’m so sorry for the loss of your Mom. I know what you went through because the same thing happened to my Mom and to us. Mom got Covid in the nursing home and passed away in December 2020. The whole situation was sad with the hospitals and nursing home being closed to Family. It changed a lot of people’s lives and like you I feel more people would have lived through the time if allowed to see their relatives. My Dad had Covid the same month Mom passed away and was in the hospital for 17 days and we couldn’t see him. At the age of 90 he was totally lost and confused. He is still living on the farm in Arkansas and doing well except for short term memory loss. Thanks for your comment, Kathy

4. Just curious Kathy am I missing the date of publication on your posts? Just wondering…

   My grandmother, my precious Mimi as I called her, passed away two years ago from issues related to Alzheimer’s Disease. She was actually doing fairly well in the nursing home in Hot Springs and I would take my puppr down there to see her fairly often and all the residents loved my dog too. But especially Mimi. Or “The Mims” as I affectionately called her. Anyway, when the pandemic started, we were not allowed to go inside and she was used to seeing my mom daily who lives one mile from the nursing home and used to seeing me at least twice a month as I live south of Little Rock. Anyway, once the pandemic started and we were no longer allowed in at first, she decompensated quickly. Yes, eventually we were allowed to wave from the window of the center but by that point she had changed so much and was almost unrecognizable. Ultimately the disease progressed but I still believe she might be alive if the pandemic hadn’t cut her off from us. So very sad. Anyway I know she’s dancing with Jesus now and awaits my arrival to rejoice in how glorious heaven is!

5. I wouldn’t want the DNA test to check if I had the markers. Alzheimer’s is a terrible, awful disease and as of now there is no real treatment available, though there’s a lot of research going on. I think the test would add a lot of unnecessary angst and worry to one’s life because just having a genetic marker doesn’t mean that gene will be expressed. They’re now looking at certain infections that may trigger Alzheimer’s. Since the DNA test doesn’t say for sure that you are going to get the disease and since there’s no real treatment, why add additional worries to your life when there’s nothing to be done about it? There’s just no benefit from knowing.

6. Kathy, I recently was involved in telling a friend’s daughter that I think she (my friend) had a problem. The daughter lives 5 hours away and didn’t notice anything wrong over the phone during times she spoke with her mom. When I asked my friend to meet me at the post office and she didn’t know what I meant, I knew there was a problem. Thankfully the daughter acted on my call immediately and now she is caring for her mom at her home in Beaumont. Sadly, after over a year,, they are still in a FEMA trailer after Harvey. But her mom has been properly diagnosed and is now getting the care she needs. The daughter recently mentioned that they were getting the dna testing done. I think it’s like the question, if you could know the time of your death, would you want to know? Different reasons for “yes” or “no.” As far as Alzheimers goes, I think you would be able to prepare for it better if you knew. Especially if, like me, you have no children who could help with everything. A family friend died after complications with Alzheimers, and a friend’s husband died with Lewy Body Dementia. She took care of him as long as she could and has just completed a book about the experience. It’s a horrible thing. I pray one day there is a cure. God’s blessings on you all.

7. Kathy, one of the things to understand is that there are many forms of dementia and most people, even doctors, refer to all forms as Alzheimers, because that is a term most people recognize. Many people will develop dementia, especially in the later stages of life, and, depending on the root cause, the behavior and symptoms that are manifested can be different. Both of my parents were diagnosed with “Alzheimers.” My dad was in his late 80’s when he was diagnosed, so his was most likely a form of dementia caused by circulatory issues. My mother was in her early 80’s and was diagnosed after a severe stroke, so the onset was very sudden. Probably neither was true Alzheimer’s. I say all this just to point out that genetic testing for Alzheimer’s may give one a false sense of security if the test is negative. Also, the rate of progression is different for each individual so just knowing that one is susceptible cannot give a true picture of what to expect.

8. Thank you for your update of your Dad and Mom. You are fortunate to be able to spend time with them. It’s good that your Mom is in a facility where they are taking care of her. I don’t have anyone in our family with Alzheimer’s/Dementia but I know it is horrendous in many ways and also for the caregivers. As many have stated if there was a cure then it would be good to know otherwise it is something else to worry about. Most people are aware of the signs. We can hope for the best.

9. Thank you for sharing. My brother has Alzheimer’s. Now, I was skinny forever and then gained weight due to several factors. I hadn’t seen my brother for awhile and went to Wendy’s to have lunch. The first thing he said “Sharon, you are fat”. Well, we all laughed because he could only remember me being skinny. My sister-in-law is very knowledgeable concerning Alzheimer’s and is involved in chapters looking in to how to manage this disease. My brother is still at home; she takes such wonderful care of him. He is 84. One of the vitamins he is on has really helped him. Oh, I called to their home one day and said, tell Rita I called. Well, he said, “Sis, you know I won’t remember this when I hang up the phone”. I only tell you this because the disease pretty much stays the same and we have to have a good laugh occasionally. Blessings to you and your family and thanks for all the writing you do!!

10. What a nice post. You are so lucky-my cousin sold the house our Grandfather was born in in the 1800’s. His Grandfather homesteaded that property in the 1850’s. I’m the last of that blood line living on the original property. (sigh) Wounded. Love the wood all over the house and it looks beautiful. I hope you family keeps the house and its surrounds for many years.

11. Kathy, so glad that your Dad is doing so well and enjoying all his family. i so appreciate your sharing your AR life with the farming. i grew up just south of LR & miss all the gardening my Dad and his Brothers did. there is nothing like fresh produce!! And the gardens look good!, esp w/ the snow crow! my thoughts and prayers hugs continue to you and yours. one thought on your Dad’s stories – how you ever recorded him telling the family stories? i would love to have any recordings of my parents voices, much less telling their stories. take care, CC

12. Excellent job updating your family story. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. You are so fortunate to have so much family. And, family living close to enhance your mother and fathers life as they age and also alleviate some of your concerns.
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13. So glad your dad is thriving inspite of his setbacks. I am a caregiver for my dad who has Alzheimer’s, in Arkansas! My thoughts on testing are not to do it. I’m not sure of the benefits of testing. I think the treatment course would be the same and we all know the early signs. I’m such a planner in every other area of life but I don’t think this info would help me. I think I would just worry about something I can’t control. Meanwhile, I’ll do my best for Dad and try to keep myself mentally healthy. It’s a tough choice. Do what feels right for you.

14. Kathy – I salute your honest, tender and poignant tale of family. It takes a lot of courage to do what you did.

    My grandmother, mother and her two sisters all had Alzheimer’s – or something that was given a label of Alzheimer’s – how they decide whether to call it dementia, confusion or Alzheimer’s I don’t know. To me, the process of diagnosis and differentiation appears to be highly questionable and the basis of it flawed. But, seeing all four of my close relatives with supposed Alzheimer’s, I have always thought it made it more likely that I’d get it too, as being next in the female line.

    Then my daughter got one of these dna ancestry tests done, and that showed up the Alzheimer’s gene on my side of the family. She told me without my asking or even being aware that she had this information. I was not dismayed by it but I would not have wanted to get this information this way and I would never have done this or any other test for Alzheimer’s.

    My reasons for this are precisely the same as yours:

    ‘Genetic testing can be difficult emotionally, not provide conclusive results and cause practical difficulties.’

    I think this is sound reasoning. It is too easy to get alarmist about this. Plus, I have real concerns about such information potentially being used against me with regard to insurance and who knows what else.

    Thank you for sharing your story, Kathy. I wish you the best possible with all your family concerns.

15. Kathy, this post has me in tears this morning because you know I know all about this nasty disease. It’s so bittersweet because the time you are spending with your Dad is so special (we lost Dad before Mom was diagnosed) but the time spent away from home no doubt so very stressful. You are handling it with such grace and all that you do for your Dad, Mom, and the staff at the nursing home is heartwarming. Reading how your Mom is spending her days brought back many memories. I so agree and thought often about the poor souls suffering from this disease who don’t have anyone to advocate for them. Sometimes, many times, it felt like all we did was advocate. It was hard being the bad guy at times when we weren’t getting answers and no wasn’t an option. As for your question, I remember wrestling with this decision too. I chose not to. If there was some miracle cure that would prevent the disease, then, of course, the answer would have been yes. But there isn’t, so I chose not to know and hope for the best. Kathy, you and your family have often been in my thoughts. xo

16. Loved the update on your family. Glad they’re doing well. Your Dad sounds like a tough guy! I’m sure that whole appendix deal was scary. It’s so nice he can see your Mom everyday. And the house looks wonderful. I love the color choices too. I’ll keep you and your family in my prayers. Sending love and hugs from PA. Mimi